Is Nonchalance Ruining the Gen Z Night Out?

Newsflash – it's cool to care. But how do we get this through to a generation who is so painfully nonchalant?

Gabriette via Instagram ©

Over the past few years, it seems it has become cool/attractive to be someone who is nonchalant and mysterious. There is an overarching desire to come off unbothered, calm, cool, and collected, with a mystique-like vagueness that seems to hover around you. Being nonchalant has evolved into something to aspire to: unfazed, detached, and effortlessly cool. And while that kind of ease can be fascinating, the obsession with appearing unbothered has started to spill into spaces where a little openness—and vulnerability—might actually go a long way. 

The modern dance club was born in the 1950s when Régine opened Whisky à Gogo in Paris. Back then, the cell phone didn’t exist—attendees had nothing to hide behind, only themselves and the music guiding them through the night. Fast forward to the 2010s, and club culture has changed drastically, especially with the rise of the cell phone—and, even more so, the obsession with looking cool. Go out to any bar or club today, and you’ll spot at least one person standing in the corner, glued to their phone, not dancing, wearing sunglasses indoors, and basking in that nonchalant exterior. But it raises the questions: does that actually make for a good time, and is there something deeper to this apparent nonchalance?

To better understand this phenomenon, I surveyed Gen Z party-goers, asking: “Are you annoyed when you see someone at the bar not dancing or interacting with others?” Over 62% of respondents said yes—they find it frustrating when people act disengaged in social settings—while 38% said it doesn’t bother them. The dominant explanation behind the annoyance? “Social media has created this pressure where you always have to look cool. People are too afraid to have fun these days— not everything is embarrassing!”

Another reason respondents expressed frustration was that bars and clubs simply aren’t the place for nonchalance. “You can be literally nonchalant anywhere else,” one participant wrote. “Bring back old club culture—we’re supposed to be dancing on tables and living.” This sentiment tracks with Gen Z’s growing nostalgia for the Y2K era, a time when nightlife felt freer and more spontaneous. Even socialites from that period have noted how club culture has shifted—cell phones and the rise of curated mystery have replaced genuine in-the-moment fun. As another respondent put it, “Most people go out to relax and meet people, but that superiority complex ruins the vibe.”

However, the 38% who said they weren’t bothered offered a sense of grace toward those acting that way, acknowledging there may be deeper reasons behind it. One respondent shared, “I don’t judge because maybe they’re overstimulated or facing social anxiety,” — a valid point, especially considering that many people are persuaded to go out by friends even when it’s not their scene. Social anxiety plays a major role here, with 60% of Gen Z individuals experiencing it, according to the OCD Anxiety Centers. Others took a more neutral stance, saying, “It’s none of my business what others are doing — it’s up to them what kind of night they have.”

At the end of the day, despite the divide, what these results show is that Gen Z is simply trying to figure out how to have fun in a hyper-documented world shaped by ever-changing social trends. When people are worried about not "doing too much" they hold back the best part about them – their personality. The beauty of nightlife and community is that it's made up of a plethora of personalities. All we can ask is that Gen Z starts boldy showing their own.