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The Feminine Rage Is Warranted

The young men of our generation are officially out of their minds.

Jennifer's Body, 2009 ©

I want to start by saying that I did not write this out of heartbreak; I wrote this out of frustration. It is not a surprise to anyone that Gen Z dates differently. A lot of us are way less traditional. We love to push boundaries and go against the status quo. But there is also something else I noticed: the young men of our generation are losing their minds, and want us young women to lose ours too.

We have to start with the sassy men apocalypse. If you're active on TikTok, you're probably familiar with this phrase. The leaders of the sassy men apocalypse are undoubtedly Drake and Prayag, A.K.A. Pookie. The sassy men apocalypse refers to how many straight Gen Z men have started adapting traits that reflect the snappy, short-tempered, and witty personalities that have traditionally been a more feminine quality. It definitely started as a joke, but then many men started identifying with the movement and admitting to being "sassy." They relate to being the type to quickly add someone on their nerves to the block list, snap back when someone is testing them, and have an attitude whenever they please. Many Gen Z women, including myself, feel like this has made dating much harder and more frustrating. I personally feel like it has forced us to start putting the pants on in relationships when it comes to communication.

The issue with the male sass does not pertain to gender norms or sexuality; everyone is free to act how they want to act without being labeled as something that they do not identify with. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a softer or more feminine type of man. But the sassy man apocalypse is rooted in the normalization of toxicity. It has made toxicity okay. It has become way too normalized for men to outwardly say that they feel like they are the prize in the relationship. These men are beyond comfortable with saying that they know how attractive they are and how many women are attracted to them. Sigh. See, I'm all for a self-love moment and the joke behind it, but it's simply affecting a more significant issue and getting completely out of hand.

The more significant issue lies in the fact that we women get called crazy when we show the slightest bit of rage. The fact of the matter is that our rage is provoked about 90% of the damn time. Through time, we women let men be men and adapt to their new little eras. The men want to be hyper-masculine? Okay, cool. The men now want to be sassy? Okay, cool. But when will it be warranted for we as women to act crazy as hell as a consequence of the sass, toxicity, and overall bullsh*t that we deal with on a daily?

These men in our generation are making us crazy, but then we get ridiculed for the rage. We get labeled as "doing too much" and feel regretful for speaking our minds, making a statement, or calling out the nonsense. It truly all goes back to the patriarchy and boys being allowed to "be boys." They are allowed, by society, to have as much time as needed to "have fun" and "explore." In other words, they're allowed to do damage.

On the other hand, as women, we are constantly urged to learn how to control our emotions, stay the course, and let men "mature." We are told that men mature slower than us and have to get the f*ckery out of their system. Essentially, lover girls in our early twenties are currently being dragged to hell and back – over and over again.

As young women, we are now being urged by a bunch of millennial women on TikTok (#bigsisteradvice) to also spend our twenty-somethings learning about ourselves, putting ourselves first, exploring, etc. That's great – I agree. But a couple of things: sometimes a girl just wants some love and affection, and also, when we women "explore" too much, we get labeled as hoes. Like damn, can a b*tch live???

All in all, when we get pissed at men – it's warranted. We deal with so much from them time and time again. If I want to blow up his phone, go off in his text messages, or block him every once in a while – that should be respected and normalized, just like the sassy man apocalypse is. After all, every action has a reaction.


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